http://https://singleblackfemaletravelstheworld.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/12/img_0955.jpgHappy New Year!!!
We made plans to go to The Glamour Bar (Thanks Chip & Anne for the referral) around 10, but before we had a drink at Cloud 9, a bar at the top of the Hyatt Hotel, which gives a great view of the Bund and all the lights below.
Veta wanted a steak so we made an 8pm reservation at Mortons in the Pudong District. I am sure it will cost me my first born (all wrinkled and retarded given my booze and drug-filled womb) but when will I ever again be able to say I had a tasty rib eye in Shanghai?
The evening was crazy. We went to Cloud Nine or I guess I should say ascended to Cloud Nine. The path to heaven consisted of a series of elevators—take one to floor 54 then walk down a passageway directed by good looking Chinese people to the next elevator only to be told to get on another elevator to the 85th floor; get off for more greetings and be directed to the final elevator to the 87th floor. Another greeting from some hot looking Asians and then take another series of twists and turns in dimly, yet sexily lit corridors to arrive at a two sets of stairs. The one on the right is for hotel guests and the stairs on the left are for non-guests. We were ushered to the non-guest stairs. The bar overlooks the city of lights below. I wonder what the guests see – I guess heaven. For a gal who just wants to belly up to a bar for a quick drink, the maze to troth was really annoying. It was a series of Kafkaesque mazes to get to the inner sanctum…would the drink be worth it or would I turn into a centipede before I got out. I just kept wondering if there was a straight shot back to hell (the street) or did I have to take the long road back.
I had my usual (bourbon – never mix never worry) and Veta had a Cosmo. Finally, Goldilocks was pleased; her drink was just right. It may have cost a thousand dollars and her left lung, but it was perfect. She even had 2. The way down was very Chinese: you’re on your own. We had to climb down and figure our way out. What happened to all the beautiful guides? I was left with a question: the elevator went from 1 to 52 (Hotel lobby), but what happened on 2-51? Was that where they house the people of Shanghai who speak out for fair wages and clean air and water?
We got down to the street and into a taxi. It’s funny, if you go out and take a taxi, the hotel concierge will give you a card that has in both English and Mandarin characters “I want to go to ________” and he fills in the blank with the location in Mandarin script. So we just hand the card to the driver and off we go without any problems. So we had four different cards for the night: one for Cloud Nine, one for Mortons, and one for the Glamour Bar, and the final one to get back to the hotel.
Mortons, which is located on the 4th floor of a mall filled with Cartier, Prada, Luis Vuitton, Gucci, etc. The top floor had all the expensive restaurants. Never did I think I would eat at the food court in a mall for New Year’s Eve…. Anway, it was exactly like I was sitting on Connecticut Ave, just with a better view. We had cocktails, wine, rib eyes, spinach, and mashed potatoes. The manager of our hotel had called ahead for our reservation and had arranged for us to have an after dinner drink – very sweet of them. It was the usual Morton’s food (I don’t really like Mortons at home because the vegetables are so large they look as if they were fertilized with steroids). The steaks were outrageously priced at 600 Yuan (about US$100.00).
I went to use the bathroom and there was a line of Chinese women all speaking English with Chinese accents. It was strange because they were born in Shanghai, but I guess they prefer to speak English. Well, I started gabbing with them only to find out that one had gone to NYU (of course 100 years after I was there) and the other had gone to law school at GW in DC.
After dinner, we were off to The Glamour Bar to ring/drink in the New Year! There is an expression in China that spoiled kids are called happy pandas. Well, this bar is full of happy pandas and boy were they tossing around the cash. Tony, our guide in Hangzhou, told us that the poor people have 4 stages of feelings for the rich: First, they admire the rich; Second, they are jealous of the rich; Third, they hate the rich; and Fourth, they want to kill them. Thank god no one in Shanghai had gotten to stage 4 because this bar would be a good place for a gang of enraged poor folks to go postal. I met a young, cute Chinese girl who was there with her boyfriend. They had just gone to Chengdu to see the pandas and when I told her we had been there and hugged a panda she got very upset and said she did not know it was possible and started frowning at her boyfriend. I am sure the next day they were probably on a plane going back.
At midnight, we went out on the balcony to toast and watch the light show. We met a young Chinese guy who said he wanted to be a doctor, but his parents forced him to get an MBA because he would make more money. Since we supported him, he ran to the bar to buy us shots of tequila. It was crazy; we had so much to drink and gabbed with so many happy pandas that before we knew it it was 3:00AM. We rushed back to the hotel to get a little rest. Our guide and driver were set to meet us at 11:30AM.
We were too late for breakfast at the hotel so we went to a nearby Starbucks for some coffee and a sandwich. Veta, a tad hungover, went local: coughing without covering her mouth and hacking up a bit of the pollution from her lungs and spitting it on the street. As I was still a tad drunk, I chuckled with glee.
We got a tour of the city – it was all more humorous after so many drinks the night before. At night Shanghai is like Vegas on steroids; by day it is a bustling concrete metropolis with lots of traffic – even on a Sunday afternoon. The modern, tall buildings are incredible. The city looks like a combination of copied bits from foreign cities mixed with Chinese artistry and whimsy. I could swear I saw the top of the Chrysler Building set on top of a glass sphere that was sitting on top of one of the now gone trade tower. Another building was all glass windows covered with a shell of steel lace. We went to the Oriental Pearl TV Tower that has a floor made of glass and when you walk on it you can look down and see the city below. I felt a little dizzy at first, but then it’s just so fun to walk along looking down at the city below.
I had read about the Moller Villa and asked Leslie is we could go. She worked out with the driver to add a quick stop to our day. The Moller Villa is a huge fairytale-like castle that was built in 1936 by a rich westerner for his little daughter. She loved Hans Christian Andersen tales and had a dream that she lived in a castle like the ones in his stories. Her father, Mr. Moller, worked with architects to build her dream castle built in Shanghai. Now the castle is a hotel and a favorite location for the rich to hold their weddings. We were allowed to walk around the exterior and take photos, but we could not photograph the inside. The staff was busy scurrying about preparing for a wedding. Two happy pandas were about to tie the knot. There was large screen television in the entryway flashing still photos of the young couple wearing different costumes and posing in much staged ways. In one photo the bride in a white wedding gown was playing the piano. Another photo showed the couple wearing traditional Chinese wear. There was a 5 ft blowup of them outside.
The Shanghai Urban Planning Exhibition Hall is really great because it has a giant walk around model of Shanghai and has a section of future Shanghai that has the buildings that will be built in the near future. What’s most impressive is periodically the lights in the room dim and the model lights up to show how the city looks at night. There is also a cinema room that explains the city and its modern buildings and architecture. It ends with a shot of a world globe but only Shanghai and Beijing are illuminated. The Chinese are exactly like Americans; we each think our own country is the center of the universe.
We went to Yuyuan Garden which is located in a very busy marketplace. For the first time I experienced a crowd in China walking shoulder to shoulder with people. We had to cross a winding bridge with lots of twists and turns to get to the garden. There was no need to walk because the force of the crowd just pushed us forward. The garden was nice but being pushed around by the crowd was the best part.
It was about 5pm, so we went to get a bite to eat. We followed Leslie, our guide, and took a shortcut through an opening between some bushes. I heard Veta holler and I turned around to see her climbing out of a bush. She had toppled over. She was not injured so it was quite funny. We ate at a restaurant that served western food. It was very good. Leslie joined us, which was a nice end to our tour. I went to the bathroom to find the fanciest toilets I have ever seen. There were buttons on the right side that would turn the toilet into a bidet. You could select the temperature of the water and the force of the water to spray and clean your bottom. You could select to spay your back or your front. I did not try it because I didn’t want my Suzy sprayed with toilet water and have to take her to the doctor with some strange Chinese itch.
The best thing and the most humorous thing that happened today was a cursing monk. There was a monk walking up to people offering cards with blessings that would bring the person good luck. Of course he wanted money for these holy cards. When he came near us, Leslie told him to go away and he started cursing her and yelling at her and chased us to our car. It was such a hoot. She said he had a dirty mouth and would not translate what he said. Now that was heeeeeeheeeeelarious — better than the fight with the two women and the mother holding the kid with the split pants over the curb so he could shit on the street. Gotta love this place.
For some reason, I have not been able to attach any pictures since Chengdu to my emails. I sat for 15 minutes waiting for a photo to upload and then got an error message. The government must have seen the X-rated shots I took of their adorable pandas and have now blocked my photos from the internet.
I’m not sure if I wrote this, but Tony told us if a couple is discovered trying to have more children than is allowed by law, the punishment is to lose their jobs and the pregnancy will be terminated.
Our last afternoon was spent at the Jinjiang Amusement Park, which was built for the 2008 Beijing Olympics. It was a perfect crisp day and the sun even tried to peak through the grey haze. There were not many people there so we were able to go from roller coaster to roller coaster without waiting – 6 rides for 100 Yuan (US$ 15.00). There was one mammoth coaster that went forward and backwards with lots of twists and turns, loops and 2 ninety degree drops. It was wild. When Veta got off her hair was all over her head and she had to sit down. I was afraid I was going to lose my shoes because they were loosely tied. After that I tightened my laces and we were off to the next ride. The girls must be lightweights here because after the ride many were crying and being consoled by their boyfriends and friends.
The next ride was a giant circle of seats that went back and forth doing 180s with fast, looping and bucking swirls and spins. Veta had to sit down after that one. After she got her balance we raced off to get on another coaster. This one did a couple 360 loops backwards and forwards at a rapid pace with a few hills and jolts thrown in for good measure. At the end of the ride I looked over at Veta and she had tears in her eyes. I told you she’s been going local. Now she’s crying like the rest of the gals, hacking, coughing and spewing like a pro – neehow (hello).
We took a fifteen minute break and then got on a spinning coaster. The cars did 360 spins while whipping around a maze-like track with hills and sharp turns. This one was more bumpy and disorienting, than scary. There was another motocoaster that is set up with a row of motorbikes that is whipped around the track. The entrance had a lot of warnings so Veta did not want to go. Instead we rode the merry-go-round. Our last ride was back on the mammoth coaster for a final thrill.
Besides the pushing, the people are very polite. You have to leave your glasses and bags on a shelf before getting on the wild rides. It’s very orderly and no one takes anything. If this was a US park, the cost would be much higher and people would have to have lockers with keys to put their stuff in. It was nice for a change to be able to trust my fellow riders.
The amusement park was a fitting end to this dizzying and delightful trip. China is a lot like the US and so very different at the same time. I did not find any jobs to bring home, but I did meet a lot of wonderful people with whom I plan to keep in touch. Our neighbor in the east was a wonderful host to two gals who are still trying to get over the loss of their mom and avoiding facing the holidays without her. I highly recommend taking a trip to China and if you want the name and contact info for any of the guides we met, I will happily pass it along.
Well, Tayway (which is goodbye in the Shanghai dialect). Today we take a flight back home. Hope you enjoyed my travel tales.