I am bewitched, bothered, and bewildered by China and I’ve only seen Beijing.  I am not exactly sure how I should begin this travelogue.  I have seen so many historic sites and gone to quite a few cultural performances, and had the pleasure of being guided around like a wide-eyed Sponge Bob by a most hospitable and learned guide, who was all of 24 years, but I haven’t a clue as to what is going on here?  I have a feeling that I will be even more confused at the end of this journey, but no less enthralled.

What exactly is this Chinese model?  It’s a gargantuan plate of pure, unfettered capitalism and consumerism with a huge and equally sized helping of authoritarian rule on the side.  You cannot access Facebook or Youtube or criticize the government, but you can buy all the Hermes bags and Gucci that you can fit into the trunk of your brand new Audi.  I just left Beijing and arrived in Xian, which is half the size in space and people as the capital city, but the high-end malls are just as large. Everywhere I look there are Apple Stores and Prada and Hugo Boss, and Chanel.  Gigantic mile-long shopping centers with 10 floors of shops and restaurants tower over the hordes of shoppers racing about with pockets of Yuan to spend.  Of course who has time to cook with all this shopping so fast food is king.  There are lots of McDonalds, KFCs, Burger Kings (most popular), Starbucks, and Subways.  It’s like going to the food court at home…just fancier.  Even Haagen-Dazs is grander here.  They offer sit-down service with a ten-page menu of more than just the simple ice cream cone.  You can even buy frozen food to go like dumplings and noodle dishes.  Gone are the days of millions biking.  Bikes have been replaced by cars, cars, and more cars.  They even have a cheaper version of the Smart Car called the Absurd.  It looks exactly the same, just larger with a backseat.  They call it the Fake Car.

The best part (or worst for me) is bargaining and haggling over the price.  There is the price, then there is the good price, and then there is the Chinese price.  The Chinese price is super low and it is the Holy Grail for foreigners.  Me…well I get what’s called the PT Barnum price — the sucker’s price.  Here is my shame: I paid the equivalent of $33.00 for a t-shirt that says “I Climbed the Great Wall” to which I will promptly add “of Shame” when I return.

Space is premium and the real estate development market is booming.  Everywhere there are back hoes and cranes (official bird of China as the locals say with pride) of all sizes  clearing and reshaping China’s future.  Buildings go down and are quickly rebuilt with tall, looming structures which are testaments to the creativity and forward thinking of Chinese Engineering.  The cost to buy an apartment in downtown Beijing is 70K Yuan  per square meter, which I believe would roughly work out to $1500 per square foot in US terms.  I am not sure if that is exactly correct, but that is Vicki mathematics, not Chinese mathematics. Of course it’s cheaper to buy outside the center, but the traffic and subway ride will crush you.  I guess that’s why everyone is so small.  They are dwarfed by their commute.  Our Beijing guide, Ada, told us her parents laugh at her (they live in Xian – Terracotta Warriors) and say she has worked in Beijing for 4 years and can just about pay for a toilet.  Ada shares a rental apartment outside Beijing with 4 flatmates from university and she commutes 2 hours a day on the subway to work.  She has a girlfriend who rents an apartment in Beijing near the center, but she shares it with 37 other people.  All the walls in the apartment have been removed and the place is filled with 38 military beds.  There is one bathroom that they all must share.  I would imagine that waiting on line for the toilet is as long as Ada’s commute.

All this progress has created a grey haze of pollution that hovers over the city.  The day I arrived, I noticed a strong smell of burning tar.  I later found out it is coal because much of China’s energy comes from coal.  I could feel the grey haze blackening my lungs.  I guess that’s why the locals are constantly hacking and spewing huge chunky loogies (sp?)  every few steps.  There are large chunks of phlegm glistening on the sidewalks that I have to skip over as if playing hopscotch.  Not only do I have to watch for the spitters, but also for the people who step to the side for a nice woodsman’s blow emitting a long thick river of snot onto the accepting pavement below.

Our first night in Beijing, Veta and I walked around outside our hotel and looked in stores, stores, and more stores…all familiar high-end brands.  Mixed in were some cheap stores with all kinds of inexpensive souvenirs.  We came across a gothic style church and the large courtyard in front was filled with people dancing.  The older people were waltzing on the outskirts, but closer in the young people were playing techno music and doing a line dance, all were adorned in Santa Hats.  Veta and I joined in and clumsily tried to follow the steps.  Too bad I didn’t bring my elf costume.  The whole city is crazy for Christmas.  Lights twinkle and garland is twirled around everything…think Macy’s windows times 100.  There was even a giant Smurf village decorated for Christmas.  The Chinese may not embrace the whole nativity scene, but they do embrace Santa and Frosty with the same enthusiasm they have for Chairman Mao.

The next morning our day started bright and early with a whirlwind of sightseeing.  We started on with Tiananmen Square, no mention of that pesky student massacre.  As with the prices, there is reality and then there is Chinese reality.  The Square, like everything in China is huge.  Texas big is just plain small when compared to China big.  I stood there just imaging it filled with Chairman Mao’s Red Army of blood thirsty teenagers just waiting to sock it to their ill-behaved parents who wanted to preserve their culture and intellectual ideals instead of carrying and following the little red book.  Since it’s winter here, there are very few tourists so we can enjoy and see everything.  We even got to see Chairman Mao’s body without waiting in a line.  There is no lingering to look at his body, the guards usher you through pretty quickly and no stopping or taking of photos.  The Chinese people were buying flowers and leaving them in the entryway of the mausoleum before entering.  Chairman Mao’s body is encased in a crystal coffin and it looks like he is a lovely glowing shade of Snooky orange (If you don’t know Snooky, think of a Spaulding basketball).  Ada told us that only three people are encased in a crystal coffin:  Mao, Ho Chi Minh, and Lenin.  I now can say I have seen two…gotta get to Russia to complete the set.  I imagine Kim Jong-il   will be number 4, RIP.

Later we visited the Forbidden City, which was home to 24 emperors between 1429 and 1911.  I just kept thinking about the film The Last Emperor.  Mostly viewing the exterior structures and marveling at the architecture and intricate marble carvings; it’s a series of squares, halls, and ornate gates connected by complex networks of gardens and courtyards.  Then we went to lunch, which was delicious.  The restaurant was Quanjude Roast Duck Restaurant.  It is over 100 years old (dating back to 1864) and serves up the crispiest, tastiest duck I have ever eaten.  YUMMMMMMMMMY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  There were pictures of world leaders and famous people feasting on the duck.  We sat near pictures of Yasser Arafat, Fidel Castro, and George Bush I.

Our tour continued with more sightseeing:  Temple of Heaven (ceremonial site where emperors went to pray for a good harvest), Pearl Factory, and then finishing with an acrobatic show.  By the end, we were exhausted.  I must mention the driving here is much more orderly than I had read, but perhaps it’s because we spent last year in India and nothing compares to jockeying a two-lane road with 4 lanes of elephants, camels, donkeys, dogs, pedestrians, bicyclers, mopeders, cars and trucks.

That evening, I went to a local hangout with Ada.  Veta went back to the hotel to rest.  We went out for “hot pot,” which is a large pot set on a hot plate with boiling broth of ginger, scallions, garlic, chili, and chili oil. You select items like noodles, all types of vegetables and meats, and dumplings.  Your selection arrives and you toss them into your hot pot to cook and eat.  We ordered shaved beef (looked like a plate of rolled prosciutto), lotus root, yams, Chinese cabbage, noodles, bread, and pork and shrimp meatballs.  We had lots of chuckles, but when I tried to gain insight into the government control or what it’s like for the average citizen surrounded by such wealth, Ada gave me pat answers or completely avoided my questions.  It was like watching the Republican debates.  I’d ask a question, but the response felt rehearsed and did not always address what I had asked.  Ahhhh…I guess I received the Chinese response.  I’ll have to put on my Chinese rose tinted glasses and enjoy the rhetoric.  Anyway, I ate so much hot pot that my stomach swelled and I went back to my room and passed out.

The next day we drove out of the city and into the mountains to see The Great Wall.  The Wall is amazing and truly Chinese large.  We took the cable car up, which is just a T-bar style ski lift which took us up to Tower 6 (there are 24 Towers).  If you ever go to China, go in early winter.  It was great because there were only a few tourists and we were able to actually see the wall and enjoy it.  Ada showed us a photo of the Wall during high season and it looked like a herd of cattle packed shoulder to shoulder being ushered off to slaughter.  Now it was great, very few people and we could stop and enjoy the view.  I just kept thinking about all the people who had helped construct The Wall.  The terrain is very rough and steep and they had to carry the bricks and tools on their backs only to reach their section and start building.  There is no food or water.  Those who died were sealed into The Wall without even a marker.  The Wall is truly breathtaking.  I managed to climb to Tower 14.  The climb is a mixture of steps of different heights and then sections of slick inclines that you have to lean into to ascend.  We were lucky that there was no ice to impede the climb.  Since Veta opted out of hiking passed Tower 8, I decided to continue on for an hour.  I stopped at Tower 14 and then slowly made my way back.  I’ll have to come back and climb to the top.  We took a toboggan ride down, which was a lot of fun.  I felt like a Jamaican bobsledder.

After The Wall, we went to lunch and then drove back to the city for more sightseeing: Sacred Way (park and walkway with large stone sculptures of warriors, lions, camels, elephants, etc. leading to the Ming tombs) and Changling Tomb (burial site of Zhu Di (3^rd emperor of the Ming Dynasty).  We ended with a performance of excerpts of famous Chinese operas.  We went back to the hotel.  Veta joined me in my room  for a bite to eat.  I had to write some radio spots (wedding tips) for a contest I am part of in January.  A radio station, 107.3, in DC is having a contest for a couple to win a wedding that will be put together in a week.  My company is providing the favors (lollipop brownies decorated like brides and grooms).  It’s great publicity.  Anyway, I got an email that I had to submit ten 30 second radio spots and submit them by Dec 27^th.

Our last day in Beijing was spent going on a tour of the Hutong District.  It’s one of the few preserved old neighborhoods in Beijing consisting of narrow alleyways and old homes.  We took a rickshaw ride through the streets and a local guide explained the architecture.  We were able to go inside one of the homes owned by a woman.  The house has been in her family for 4 generations. The homes are very expensive to buy, but very modest inside.  Each one will fetch the price of at least US$3,000,000 and we tipped her twenty Yuan to see it ($3.50), which is what we were told.  The homes are actually quads consisting of a center courtyard and one house in the north (for the parents, gets the most sun), south house (for servants, gets the least sun), East house for sons, and West house for daughters.  The entryway shows your position in society.  Above the outside door are beams.  There are 4 beam houses (highest ranking family), 2 beam house (mid range family), and no beam house (low ranking family).  One could only marry a member of another family with the same number of beams.  No chance to marry up or down. None of the houses has bathrooms.  People use public showers and toilets called happy rooms.  The toilets are just big rooms where people go to pee and poo and chat with neighbors while doing so.  Some read the paper or even eat breakfast while sitting on the can or I guess I should say squatting over a whole.

After the Hutong District, we went to the Olympic site to see the Bird’s Nest stadium and the Aquatic center.  Of course it too is decorated for Christmas and there is a huge display of Disney characters adored with lights and garland.  The rest of the afternoon was spent tracking down a folk artist, Sun Huaizhoung, whom I had read about.  He makes “maohou” or hairy monkeys.  They are dried cicadas covered with a magnolia bulb and called hairy monkeys.  It’s a type of folk art and only 8 artists remain who continue the practice.  The hairy monkeys date back to the Qing Dynasty (1644-1911) when a bookkeeper in a medicine shop was scolded by his employer.  The bookkeeper went home and noticed that the dried cicada body looked like his boss.  To mock him, the bookkeeper stuffed the body with a magnolia bulb, thus creating the first hairy monkey.  Now each hairy monkey is posed with tiny instruments and set in a tiny tableau.  Each has a unique story.  The hairy monkeys are only found in Beijing.  Ada was able to locate one of the artists in a local artists’ fair.  It was a bit out of the way, so we had to skip seeing the Summer Palace (a summer retreat for the emperors) to meet him and still make our flight at the airport.

It was great and Mr.Huaizhoung was a hoot – a very colorful fellow.  He is a farmer by trade and creates the hairy monkeys in his spare time.  The folk art tradition is in the process of being classes as an intangible cultural heritage at the national level.  He is trying to teach more young people the art so it will not die with him and the handful of other artists creating them.  He has gone to Europe and the US displaying his art.  He even had a seal of appreciation from Chairman Mao for a tableau he created for the fearless leader.   I was able to get several hairy monkey tableaus and Mr.Huaizhoung took photos with me and signed all the boxes.  He also signed the article I had that describes the history of the hairy monkeys.  It was the perfect end to our stay in Beijing.

Off to the airport for our flight to Xian to see the Terracotta Warriors.