This has been a terrible month and what started out as an adventure is slowly deteriorating into a nightmare. You all know about the theft and the phony declaration…but there have been other unsavory actions that followed. The Film Festival I was so enthralled by the idea of the festival and all its intended cultural deeds. I worked 14 hour days (weekends included) trying to pull it off. It was an amazing event: we screened 54 films in the main room; had second showings in a smaller room; had six televisions set up so that people who missed a film could see a VHS copy of it any time during the event; had simultaneous translations of the films and speeches that could be listened to by headset; photography exhibit; music and dancing; and everything was free. I must say it really came together. I was responsible for funding, publicity, drafting vendor contracts, festival programming, making sure the films ran on time, introducing the films and the guest speakers, and co-hosting the awards ceremony. Needless to say, at the end, I was exhausted. Oh yeah, there are lots of pix of me with Robert Kaplan (author of Balkan Ghosts, which influenced Clinton to avoid the Bosnian War). But what made this experience hollow is that the festival director and his wife had been lying to me the whole time. In the beginning they wanted to sell tickets, but I found out later that only wanted to charge the American Peace Corps volunteers. The budget they gave me to use to write a Peace Corps matching grant was 3 times the actual cost, so I had to refuse to write the grant application. Another volunteer’s belongings were stolen by a member of the festival staff, and at my party, which some festival people attended, money was taken from the purses of two Peace Corps guests in my home. I hate to say it, but I really feel many Romanians are a bunch or lying, stealing crooks. This week I hate them. Festival Sidebar Last week, a kid called me a nigger and I blasted him in English. From his reaction, I could tell he understood what I had said. It’s horrible to think that a woman in her late thirties would engage in a verbal war with a twelve-year-old, but I was just sooooo mad I could not ignore him. The other times I was able to let it roll off my back, like when some street punks sang welcome to the jungle as they followed me for a few blocks; or when I was called a neagra (black) by some other hoodlum who threw something at me; or called a jungle monkey by another rugrat (I did chuckle at him b/c the term is jungle bunny – he needed to work on his American Racist 101 slurs a little more (as a Peace Corps volunteer…was I supposed to correct him???). But this last kid I just let loose all the anger I had right down to the soles of my muddy shoes. I told him how he could stand their in his filthy rags and dirty fingernails and laugh at me now, but the joke was on him. He has to return to his pigsty that he calls home with his entire family living in one room. His future is dead-end and he can’t even hope to get a visa to get out of this barren, worthless country. That I can leave whenever I want and make in one year more than he’ll ever earn in a lifetime. That the EU wipes its ass on Romania, and the more hoops Romania jumps through, they’ll just set up more. I can’t even remember what else I said, but by the end I was dizzy and he was red-faced and silent. Later that night I cried because I had such high hopes for turning into a better person. Looking back, I am ashamed that I yelled at him so, but I am not a saint. I write all of this because I need to confess my sins. Bless me father and all that. I should be bigger than such petty shit. I am letting such petty crap drag me down. I’m blaming the forest for the trees, but the trees just happen to be there. I don’t know what I expected or want, but I need to just regroup and get it together. There are a lot of great people here and I just have to find them. If I overlook all the shit, and I am sure I will be able to after two weeks of bitching and feeling used, I’ll be able to see the ray of sunshine peaking through the black clouds of deceit and treachery. This country did suffer 45 years of communism that robbed them of freedom and any artistic and cultural outlets, and this festival did offer an amazing gift. The people were able to see cultures and stories that years ago they couldn’t possibly have even imagined. They got to see glimpses of their own lives and culture on screen. Not many people even own a camera here and pictures are a rarity. It all reminds of that hilarious scene in Annie Hall when Alvie Singer’s parents are arguing about their maid who stole money and the father says something like, she’s colored, they’ve been persecuted and they’re poor…she deserves to steal, she should steal from us. I guess it’s my turn to be Mr. Singer. Fun Stuff at the Festival The Peace Corp Director and the UN Cultural Officer came into town for the festival, as well as many volunteers. They were extremely impressed and commented that they were surprised that I had only been there for such a short period of time and had such a pivotal role in the festival orchestration. Although I was working most of the time, I was able to have some fun. I hosted a NY cocktail party with lots of booze and frozen margs and daqs. I was in my element, working with actors and coordinating the film introductions and making sure the filmmakers were happy. Afterwards I went out with the filmmakers and celebrated the event. It was a lot of fun. I even had some chuckles with Kaplan when he admitted he was doing his lecture impromptu. He had something in mind but it didn’t involve the Balkans. I laughed and told him to do his speech number 5 with a Balkan addendum. He laughed and said he spent enough time in the area that he could fill the gaps. For an impromptu speech, he was amazing. He has an incredible mind and is an engaging speaker. The director was mad when I edited what he had written for Kaplan’s introduction. It was 5 pages of nonsense of how Kaplan advises Bush three times a week on Balkan policy issues. Even if it were true, Bush is enough of an idiot, I wasn’t going to go on stage and say my president listens to a travel writer/journalist. I met some really hooty filmmakers, and had a crush on one filmmaker from Israel who made the film The Key. We hugged at the end and said we’d meet up again somewhere in the world. For those inquiring minds: didn’t have sex with him b/c my apartment was too full of visitors. This crazy sculptor, Miina, from Finland drew some pictures of cows for me. She looked like Terence Stamp with a long blonde wig and lots of Baby Jane makeup. She was the star of one of the films. She breeds cows and builds huge sculptures of cows made out of car parts. She’s always arrested for violating EU farming regulations. She was truly a scream. There were two great women who are also lovers. They made a fantastic film called, Women, the Forgotten Faces of War. It was all about the women in Kosovo who were victimized by the war, both personally raped and tortured and suffered loss of family members and friends. They were great and a lot of fun. One of them reminded me of you Amy. When I saw her, I immediately thought of you and we became fast friends. They live in NY and we often spent the evenings drinking tuica and giggling. There were many more like the guy Misa from Serbia and his friend Gheorghe from Romania. They were always up to booze it down after the screenings ended. Misa carried around a flask of Serbian tuica…”very strong, but I can’t stop drinking it.” When these long evenings finally ended, I would drag myself home and go to sleep reeking of stale cigarettes and fermented plums. Most of the staff members were drunk during the festival. The director was always bleary-eyed and reeking of alcohol (and that was at 9 AM!). My co-worker Adina started the day with a gin and tonic. I felt as sober as a church mouse compared to those freaks. At least I didn’t start to imbibe until my work was complete. Crazy!! No wonder everyone came to me for solutions and decisions…I was the only one coherent enough to make them, implement them and remember them. I don’t want to babble on…thanks for listening/reading or that I just have someone to write. I feel a lot better now. Vicki PS I just got back from dinner with my friend Oana (’lil zsa zsa gabor). Thank god for her or I would go crazy. I like laughing and talking with her. She had a rough day at the office and needed a treat. She said she’s going online when she gets home to see who this Zsa Zsa is. I hope she’ll still be my friend when she finds out. Veta, she can’t wait to meet you. She reminded me of you this evening when she was screaming on the phone at a client and then parked her car diagonally across two parking spots. When I asked her if she was going to leave her car like that she replied, “fuck them, I’m mad and hungry!” I chuckled and into the New Yorker Grill we went for steaks and sundaes. Posh Corps…gotta love it! PPS Jack, a definitive answer to your question about whether the Peace Corps would do anything about the phony declarations: No! I finally got a reply from them on my complaint. I was told that it is not a big enough issue to go to the American Embassy to get clearance to make a public statement. They also would not mention their disapproval to the museum or to the police because they felt it would cause a public scandal. I felt that that was rather odd since Peace Corps is about to start working with the ABA for legal reform and the corruption here is a big issue holding up EU acceptance. I was told to “just move on and get over it.” This is another reason I am pissed off. PPPS I am also pissed of b/c there were certain things for my apartment that the museum promised to take care of. They did not, so I had to. The Peace Corps, although they made a deal with my organization that they would pay for my apartment, is now refusing to reimburse me, and of course now the museum claims they have no money and I am stuck with the bill. I am waiting to see what happens with other volunteers. If anyone is reimbursed for the types of things that I bought and was not…you’re gonna hear a roar that will shake this fuckin place. I am most annoyed b/c I have heard that other volunteers had been reimbursed for similar items. I am now trying to track down their names and contact them directly for all the details. OK…SORRY…That’s it for the BITCH SESSION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This time anyway.